Harrumph! Thanks a lot, guys. Think of The Nation. They need you.
  
 * I have declared a national  state of emergency/panic/mayhem/organized chaos 
in all our provinces affected by the storm, making many of you eligible for the funds , food,  energy, grants, supplies that you
 and  your families need in order to get back on your feet.
 
* Sizzler Nation Social Services will supply grief counselors to area residents who have lost power, food that has spoiled,  internet, training time,  and kids who are driving mom and dad totally nuts.
 
* A shelter has been set up at  Sizzler Community Church (SCC). 
Clean water (well,  it was when we scooped it up out of Norway Pond in July), 
blankets, awesome canned beans, marshmallows, harmonicas to play around the campfire,   and games (like Mr Potato Head & Chutes  Ladders) are all available for Nation citizens.
 
* Have you ever dipped your finger tips in hot wax from a candle? I have.
There has been ample opportunity to do so, and it isn't all that bad, really.
The wax  gels almost immediately,  and conforms to the shape of whatever digit you  decide to dip in.  You can even see the fingerprints. Once you get into mass production mode,  it is pretty easy.  They make great stocking stuffers! Let me  know if you would like one. . . . . or more.
 
* Partial list of cancellations:
 
- Sizzler Academy  (K-12)
- Sizzler Hand Bell  Practice
- Sizzler Anonymous/Siz- Anon/Siz Narc-anon
- Sizzler City Holiday Horseshoe tournament (can't find the horseshoes or stakes)
- Sizzlerville Tabernbacle Choir Practice
- Sizzler Nation Poetry Contest
- Sizzler Library Children's Reading Program 
- Sizzler  Post Office
- Sizzler Dale Carnegie Class
- Sizzler International Airport
- Sizzler Seminary
 -Sizzlerville Puppy Day Care
 
*  One event not canceled is the Sizzlerville Players annual "Nutcracker" presentation on the common.  Hot cocoa,  port-a-potties, slush puppies,  popcorn all free of charge.   Libster is the Director and also will be playing Marzipan or a  confection fairy of some sort.
 
* Most Popular place in our city? No contest.
 McSizzler's Fast Food Court has the honor!
 I had another drive thru lane created  to accommodate the extra traffic.
And with our charbroiled Sizzler Burgers. . . no heartburn. .
 
* Sizzler National Bank is now open.
  I restocked the ATM myself. Hope you don't mind pennies.
 
* Yes. . our hospital (Mike Casner Memorial Medical Center) is open. . working off the generator.  I am on call for emergency lobotomies and plastic surgery.
  Otherwise, skeleton crews are the rule. I may call in Ross Ramey  to get our emergency room straightened out. He is experienced , calm and has a proven track record of success.  And Ross makes great chili (con carn and veggie both!) for the whole staff.  Some  guys do it all. He is one such fellow.
 
*  The Zamboni is up and working. . . . so our parade on ice (Christmas In Sizzlerville!) will be held over the weekend. Our puppeteers have a special treat for the children:  "The Grinch that stole Sizzler City. "

* If all goes well, I hope to perform my solo concert at Midnight.  With my beard maturing in length and my opera voice strengthening,   some have confused me with the late Luciano Pavarotti,  especially my rendition of  "O Holy Night" as it resonates over Norway Pond. That was the fatman's trademark. We are about equal I would say on the talent level.  But I can still take him in a 10k any day. . even more so now that he is no longer with us.
 
* Well,  the  semi-finals of the Sizzler Twin City Hanukkah Hockey Tourney are set!
 
Game One features 'Hamas versus Hezbollah' in the afternoon. . . . . . two old rivals. . . .  while Game Two has defending champ Sunni  hosting bitter rival Shiite in an all Muslim semi- contest.
 
Nothing but bad blood . . but it should make for  very spirited competition.  BOOM! One thing is or sure. . there will be a lot of sparks flying in both matches. Check the lockers,  guards.  And what a final! Man. . . .  security will be very tight at  the Bob Fogg Ice Palace in West Sizzlerville.
 
* Still don't have power? Call 1-Sizzlpower for latest updates on your neighborhood.
 
* Bingo is off for tonight at Our Lady Of Lake Sizzler in the center of town, I just heard.
 
*  Sizzler Charities  have suffered a little bit this year.
   Send me your money (be as generous as you can. . . . I have bills to pay) to
 PO Bx 371 Sizzler Town ship RFD 1.  Cash, silver, gold, money orers all okay.
 
* The Sizzler Ladies Auxiliary has done a wonderful job providing coffee, egg nog,  sandwiches, wild boar,  re-fried chipmunks, fresh mangos, and Roast Skunk stew to the hard working crews I have covering the country side.   They are to be commended. Ditto to all my phone and  power workers. I have had to import laborers from Pluto, Jupiter,  and even as far away as Mecury to help with the power restoration and clean up.  I need to get them their green cards. Thanks,  guys. They can pick first from the prize table next summer!
 
* I hopefully will not have to declare martial law.
Surveillance cams,  ID,  brown shirts,  curfews, tasers, etc. I hope we don't have to go there.  
 
* Gas prices are down in Sizzler City; The Fed Reserve  Of Sizzler Nation has cut INT rates to 1/100th of 1%; and I am  thinking of another economic stimulus package for you all. Just let me know how much you want and I can cut you a check. Money is no object. The USA just prints money out of thin air (literally),  so why not us? On second thought,  maybe they aren't the best example for our country to follow here in The Nation.
 
* I have ordered troops home from  our military installations in Stoddard and Nelson to help out Sizzler National  Guard with security issues, rumored/expected looting of down town Sizzler merchants,  and to rescue stranded pets and assist in food /water distribution.
 
*  I think that is it for now.
Remember,  Bob Fogg Egg Nog Jog ppd till Sat, Dec 20th,  1 pm,  at the Depot.
Limited facilities,  no bathrooms,  water. We will make it work. Somehow. Bring goodies to share.  Maybe we can have a campfire, enjoy a fish fry, and roast a partridge or that stray pet that is looking tastier by the minute as  the food supply dwindles and your patience re running short.
 
 
Call or write 24-7.
We are in emergency mode. . for you. . our valued citizen of Sizzler Nation.
We must come to the aid of  each other. It is why we exist. We 're family.
 
Respectfully,
Mr Birse,  Crew Chief,
Public Service Of Sizzler Nation (PSSN)
525-9357