Talk about a Full House versus a pair of fours. Heh. We got cycling and soccer beat and beat good.

Parades ending at Fanueil (sp?.okay......fan-yooo-ull) Hall, championship rings, endorsements, Duck Boats along the Contoocook River, lunch with Bob Kraft, Sports Illustrated Cover, ESPN DVD year- in -review, cameo roles in movies, drinking champagne out of The Lombardi Trophy & Lord Stanley both, Scott McGrath Day in Francestown,S hoes sent to Canton ( Hall of Hall-Of-Fame) for display, and more-- are all in the offing for the newly crowned' Prince of Distance Running.'----Scott McGrath of Francestown.

Scott is humble and disciplined; a scholar, athlete and gentleman; and most worthy of the name CHAMPION. Tis with great pride I present him to the citizens of the 'Nation' now ( as well as to the undocumented Guest Workers & Runners at large) in that capacity.

"My life will never be the same," said a star struck, 'deer-in-the- headlight,' teary -eyed Scott McGrath after wire reports leaked out the news of his "Impossible- Dream- style title from Sizzler Central this past weekend. The wildly successful sought -after teen idol has enjoyed a rags -to -riches story like no other, and has been in hiding in the basement to escape the scores of screaming fans, autograph hounds and members of the media( from Hancock to Hong- Kong) circling his home like buzzards after a fresh road- kill possum pizza.

Only time will tell if he is to become yet another child celebrity star unable to handle the pressure cooker of big time athletics.

"Oh, I don't know," offered the Sizzler Prime Minister, "Scott is a sensible fellow, fine student and has a good head on his shoulders. He will be ok. I hope. But you can just never tell."

McGrath was unavailable for comment at the time, stating that a "Leave It To Beaver" television 'marathon' would preclude any interviews until it is finished sometime Wednesday morning , only hours before the next Sizzler at Nuby Lake, where thousands will press the flesh just to get a peak at their "home town hero" at the Boat Landing.

Nuby- the Nine -headed- lake Monster, the resident leviathan of these parts, has been known to frighten little ones and senior citizens at that location. But with scores of admirers lining the streets to pay tribute to McGrath in a motorcade just prior to race time, Nuby may present a more bashful side and make himself scarce.

At any rate, those desiring to be spectators ,participants, volunteers, benefactors, or patrons of Race # 8 of the Tenth Annual Summer Sizzler World Tour may convene at the Nubanusit Boat Landing( 2 miles from Rte 123 & Hunt Pond Road Int.) Wednesday, 6:30 pm (Sizzler City Security will open the gates at 5:30 p.m..).Entry fee is a mere five dollars( or one oz. Troy Silver). The distance is 5 rough and tumble miles. Out and back. Ouch.Y ou in shape? Well, this route will be a litmus test to see if you are a Barry Bonds clone or more like the honest man......... David Ortiz!

The theme for the evening is "SUMMER SIZZLER SILLY SOCKS NIGHT" on July 19th( gosh, that is today, or tomorrow, so we better skip Wheel Of Fortune-------- for one night anyway) and prizes will be given to all finishers.Trivia, raffles, watermelon, oranges, maybe even milk and cookies shall also characterize the night.

I have been negotiating with my novelty supplier and am pleased to report the Art Department has begun production on this year's specialty item( following my approval). Nope, I ain't gonna tell ya.I n years past we have had mini -footballs, frisbees, tumblers, flashlights and calculators. Cool things with the race name and logo on it. Final approval was yesterday am and I should have them in about 10 days. Not T-shirts. Never inside-the -box. Not high entry fees, no chip timing, not certified, flat (yaaaaaaaaaaaawn) 5 k , not a venue for charity. By and for runners. You know that though. No rant today. Too hot for that.

C'mon, you are hard core runners. No immediate gratification here. It is a surprise and you will have to show up on Aug 2nd and pay the 'hefty fee' of 5 clams and finish the course at Oak Paaaaaaaaaaaaahk to find out. Hah! So there. Suck it up, sissy. We will have hand picked blueberries for you, and hot dogs.

Special awards night is one week later, Aug 9th.There we will have pizza. By invitation only. You need to have run at least four sizzlers to qualify. No pizza for you, so it looks like Pat & Vanna for you that night. There is always next year. No sulking. Hey. It is your own fault.

All races to be contested rain or shine, earthquake or volcano, blizzard or hurricane, alien attack or locust onslaught, flood or drought. We cancel not. If we didn't cancel last week (XMas In July, we will nevah evah call it off. NEVAH!

Call 525-9357 for more information. If you prefer, feel free to email the President's Press Corp at sizzlermania@hotmail.com  or his Chief-Of Staff at hilander@worldpath.net  .

One other note: RACE NINE IS JULY 26TH------AND IT IS OUR ANNUAL "BABY BANANARAMA RELAY NIGHT". We use little bananas as the relay tool. No stinking boring batons here, amigo.. Bananas are the way to go.I t is 15 bucks per team, starts at 6:35 pm, is a 3 x 1 mile event( so do the math, knucklehead.....one mile apiece. Jiminy Cricket. Sheeeesh.). This goes down at Norway Hill ,Duncan Road, Hancock.Y ou can fight over who does what leg amongst yourselves. Test your mettle. Claim the hill, the third leg as yours, and watch the hair grow on your chest as you do.

Four divisions: ALL STALLIONS, ALL FILLIES, MIXED & FAMILY.

I am trying to milk the elm trees for maple syrup and would like to harvest the first -ever "maple syrup from Elms" at Sizzler Farms here to distribute to members of our winning teams for each category. We will see. It has been slow going thus far, but I have another week to work on it. No promises. Sitting out there in my flannel shirt, cover- alls, waist -high wading boots, mittens , scarf, goggles thermal slacks and shirt is not easy in this 100 degree heat. Whew. But sipping hot cocoa and listening to Christmas Carols on tape does something for me and makes the time fly by, in the midst of Hades-type adversity.

Don't forget to check out all the latest point standings including both '% back' as well as the old system), results, reports, directions, etc. on www.gotendurance.com  at your convenience.